As I have given leadership training programs throughout the country over more than the last thirty years, one of the recurrent challenges faced by many leaders seems to be harnessing the necessary patience required to be able to consistently communicate with members, donors and sponsors, without undue frustration. Barbara Johnson wrote, “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Leaders must learn that irritations, frustrations, and personalities are givens of being in leadership, and often the ability to manage and balance one’s emotions is the difference between greatness and merely being mediocre.
There are numerous occurrences that challenge a leader’s patience on a daily basis.
1. Leaders must be able to overcome the tendency to say, “Don’t you listen? I’ve said that over and over again.” Since a leader’s message is always more familiar and important to him than to any other listener or observer, it is not surprising that others may not fully “get the message.” For this reason, I always emphasize to those that I train to use the principles of “K. I.S. S.” (Keep it short and simple!). An effective listener emphasizes enhancing his personal communication skill, and the need for him to remain “on message.” Many of those in leadership, because they become so familiar with certain issues or conditions, just assume that others are also familiar, and thus do not fully and clearly explain themselves (and we all know the adage about what happens when one assumes).
2. Since the greatest leaders must be passionate about their vision and what they see as the needs of the organization, it is often frustrating when others do not “grab hold” to the vision as eagerly as hoped for. For this reason, I train leaders to keep their focus on their vision, and emphasize communication skills, and the need for effectively motivating others.
3. Many good leaders become frustrated because their co – leaders do not put forth nearly as much effort, nor seem to have the clarity of vision that one would hope for. While a leader hopes to somewhat motivate these people, he must realize that while he can “demand his own person best,” the most one can realistically do, in terms of others, is hope for more than they are presently doing, while preparing at all times with contingency and backup plans in case they don’t. This is one of the primary reasons that I am not nearly the advocate of delegating duties that some others are, because I do not feel that a leader can comfortably delegate something unless he has a high degree of confidence in that person’s knowledge, abilities, expertise, and true commitment, as well as reliability and responsibility. For that reasons, I suggest that duties or tasks delegated to others must always undergo a regular review and discussion phase.
4. A leader must never become so emotional that he loses his temper. Others want and expect their leaders to maintain control, and while it may be normal and understandable to be less than satisfied, it is not acceptable to permit one’s frustrations to impact his performance. In addition, impatience with others usually adversely motivates (or demotivates) others, and true leaders must emphasize motivation at all times.
It is understandable for a leader to become impatient and frustrated at times. The difference between the great ones and the mediocre ones is how they handle this feeling.