For years and years, I used to ask this question to myself. I wondered if I was a drunk. Every morning, I would get in the shower, and during the course of that shower I wondered to myself if I drank too much. After all, I drank everyday, and waking up in the morning, I normally felt as if I had been hit by a truck. So was I a drunk? I don’t know, probably, but I did come to the conclusion that I most certainly drank too much.
I’ve heard addiction described as: never getting enough of that which you don’t want in the first place. It’s probably the best definition that I’ve ever heard of addiction, and it fit me to a tee. At the end of the day, I didn’t really want to drink and I surely didn’t want to wake up most days feeling as if I had been hit by a truck. In my case, I was most certainly caught in the vicious cycle of that definition. I was never getting enough of that which I didn’t want in the first place. So I began to “cut down”.
Through doing this I soon realized how stupid this was. Cutting down? My philosophy has always been that you either do something or you don’t, but whatever you choose, just do it. Don’t complain, don’t bitch, just do it. So I did what I wanted to do for quite a long time…..I walked away from alcohol forever. Did I go to meetings? Or substitute some other form of “medication”? Nope. I just walked away and it was the single best decision that I’ve ever made. The world seems so much clearer now, imagine that! I’m able to get so much more accomplished in a twenty four hour period that it seems kind of sickening that I haven’t accomplished more in my life. It literally feels as if I’ve been given a new life.
So how much did I actually drink and for how long? I drank for the better part of 15 years. The last 10 of those years drinking was an every day occurrence. And as to the question o how much I drank, I obviously didn’t keep a running count, but I could buy an 18-pack of beer and drink it by myself without a problem. The average had to be a 12-pack a day.
So if you ask yourself the question posed in this article, as I did for so long, it’s probably worth answering. And if you’re asking yourself the question, the answer is probably yes, as it was with me. Don’t be like me and assume that it’s not possible, because you’re on time for work everyday and a responsible citizen. All this denial does is waste time that you could actually be enjoying your life, which incidentally is the path I chose….To waste 15 years before coming to these conclusions.